| Taoism | Shit happens |
| Hare Krishna | Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding |
| Confucianism | Confucious say, "Shit happens" |
| Buddhism | When shit happens, is it really shit? |
| Hinduism | This shit happened before |
| Zen | What really is the sound of shit happening? |
| Protestantism | Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK |
| Calvinism | Shit happens because you don't work hard enough |
| Episcopalianism | If shit happens, hold a procession |
| Lutheranism | Shit won't happen if I work harder. Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK |
| Anglicanism | It's true, shit does happen - but only to Lutherans |
| Catholicism | If shit happens, I must have deserved it |
| Charismatic Catholicism | Shit is happening because you deserve it, but we love you anyway |
| Judaism | Why does shit always happen to us?g the deal? |
| Reform Judaism | Got any laxatives? |
| Islam | If shit happens, take a hostage |
| Nation of Islam | Don't take no shit! |
| New Age | For $300, we can help you get in touch with your inner shit |
| Wicca | If shit happened once, it will happen twice more |
| Jehovah's Witnesses | Knock Knock, "Shit Happens" |
| Secular Humanism | Shit evolves |
| Darwinism | Survival of the shittiest |
| Christian Science | When shit happens, don't call a doctor-pray |
| Atheism | I don't believe this shit |
| Religion from an Atheist's point of view | I haven't smelt, seen, touched, or tasted it. But it's shit |
| Agnosticism | You can't prove any of this shit |
| Rastafarianism | Let´s smoke this shit! |
| Mormonism | If shit happens, shun it |
| Energizer Bunny | Shit happens and keeps going and going and going and ... |
| Baptist | You are shitting all wrong, and you'll be punished for it |
| Southern Baptist | Shit will happen. Praise the lord |
| Iraqi Baathist | Oh shit! |
| Voodoo | Shit doesn't just happen -- somebody dumped it on you |
| Televangelism | Your tax-deductible donation could make this shit stop happening |
| Unitarianism | It's not the shit that matters. It's the process |
| Orthodox | Saint Sergius found his faith in deep shit |
| Greek Orthodox | Shit happens, usually in three's |
| EST | I am at cause that shit will not happen |
| Fundamentalism | There's no shit in the Bible |
| Twelve Step | Shit happens one day at a time |
| Amish | This modern shit is worthless |
| Shintoism | You inherit the shit of your ancestors |
| Moonies | Only happy shit really happens |
| Stoicism | This shit is good for me |
| Zoroastrianism | Shit happens half the time |
| Bahaism | Why do you keep shitting on us? |
| Mysticism | This is really weird shit |
| Paganism | Shit happens for a variety of reasons |
| Rajhneesh | Give us your shit and put on this orange shit |
| Rosicrucianism | What is this AMORC shit? |
| Satanism | Sneppah tihs |
| Witchcraft | Mix this shit together and it will happen |
| Scientology | If you leave us, bad shit will happen to you |
| Shamanism | Whoaa...Holy Shit! |
| Sikhism | Leave our shit alone |
| Sureshism | You are all pieces of shit |
| Dianetics | "Why does shit happen?" (p 157) |
Roliga historier
